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You have to make the decision as to what you want your home and your children to have in that home. Their pain is guarded within the confines of their professional experience. I agree with what you and so many of the other replies have said: Listen with an open heart and curiosity. Once he's out of training, though, the medical marriage is much like any other marriage and the success strategies are really all the same. Did he ever buy me anything other than a coffee or a dinner. As someone starting residency next year and whose father and brother went through it, and whose girlfriend is about to start it I have to say that you can't be mad at him for not sacrificing something to spend time with you - there is literally nothing else to sacrifice; residency is called residency because the doctors used to live in the hospitals, and it was akin to monks in monastery. This makes them overwhelmingly successful wives and mothers. I'm 22 and I have been dating a med student for 3 years. I was spiritually prepared to receive the answer that I sought. She might not realize how important it is to compromise.
On the other hand, if you believe God is bigger than we can imagine, and is not constrained by religious dogma, you have as good a chance as any at a happy, thriving relationship. A good place to go is to a museum, hiking, or to a park. He was also born in Russia during the 80s and did not come to the United States until so we sometimes deal with cultural differences as well as religious. Also, as Joanna points out, men and women already inhabit a separate culture. However, we rarely ever see each other and don't talk that much in between. My wife and her family are a good example of this. We try to make this place a little better than we found it. As I started to date and fall in love with my husband, almost everyone I knew was against it. While Scientology is way worse hopefully the parallels will get her thinking. Talk about issues with Jehovah's Witnesses etc.